Chapter Two - Fury of Fionaming

"This cannot be!" the cloaked figure cries out. Steve! notices one of the guards with one arrow stuck in his thigh and another through his shoulder begin to move. "Arise pathetic underlings and do my bidding!" A crimson fog pours out from the cloaked figures hands and cascades over the floor of the great hall. The fog subsides, and the soldiers begin to rise. Their eyes are sunken and hollow. They pick up their weapons and start to attack again. Their movements appear slower and less coordinated then when they first attacked.

What will you do?

Recognizing the stench of the undead filling the room Gladiola steps back from the crowd of shuffling mass to join Steve!. "This does not bode well, my friend" she mutters, wringing her hands around her hammer.

"Me thinks this is a time better suited to your new cleric powers than your warrior powers, chum of mine." he responds. "Anything clerical you could march out to display?" Gladiola runs through the internal inventory, searching for something that feels religious and holy in nature.

"Perhaps a Pleasing Mist..." she purrs, her hand raising to symbolically bar the zombies path. As she does, a silver mist begins to mix with the crimson fog on the floor, a gaseous battle of wills. 1D20=10 The silver mist flows out over the newly undead doom doom di da duh doom doom doom doom..wait do you hear that...anyways, the sliver mist...in a gadda da vida honey...I SAID, the silver mist envelops the undead who seem to lose all interest in fighting. Instead they seem to wander aimlessly about. A group of three in the corner have taken up a game of hacky sack while the rest seem to just be generally...pleased.

"allow me to lend aid." Steve! raises his own hand, grabbing hold of the bright charge of energy now living deep in his chest and releasing it in brilliant blue arcs shooting from his fingertips out toward the undead mass. 1D20=4 (gulp - please don't shock his nether-regions!) The lighting emitting from Steve!'s hands seems to sputter out before reaching the zombies. His hands surge periodically and give him small jolts like from sticking your finger in a light socket. Try as he might, he can't seem to make the painful bursts stop.

The cloaked figure throws back her hood "ENOUGH!" She is haggard and scarred and with really bad posture. Opening the palms of her hands top the sky, they begin to glow with purple fire.

What will you do?

Thinking quickly, Steve! raises his bow and sends another hail of arrows shooting at the crone, aiming specifically for her thin, frail wrists in an effort to remove her of those weighty hands of doom. 1D20=18 Simultaneously Gladiola rushes low at her, gunning for the mid-section and shouting "Death Storm!" as her hammer spins at the end of her wrist! 1D20=2, so apparently she didn't tie her shoes or something... Steve!'s Hail of Arrows is truly spectacular as he lets fly with thirteen arrows, which all split becoming a rainstorm of pointy mayhem. The cloaked figure is pierced like a pincushion over and over. Still, she does not falter as the glow from her palms grows. Gladiola's hammer flies from her hand and clunks around on the floor before spinning under a large table. She also falls and skins her knee.

Droplets of purple light fall from the hags hands causing small holes to burn into the floor around her. She begins laughing maniacally. "Ha hahaha hah! Did you think your pathetic sticks could harm the likes of me?" She turns her left hand over and the purple light falls to the ground like liquid searing a hole quickly through it. 23 seconds later, a human shaped form of earth and purple fire emerges from the hole. It begins to lumber towards the adventurers.

What will you do?

No time for embarrassment now, Gladiola dusts off her skinned knee and leaps back to her feet. She knows that this woman is a more substantial menace than any they've faced thus far, and as such this new monster should be regarded with equal trepidation. "Steve!, I think we should combine forces on this beastie!" she calls, summoning the power to inspire the attack of THUNDER HAMMER. "When I throw my hammer, you should charge it with your Electro Bolt and we will send this menace back to the hell from which she raised it!" Gladiola hurls her hammer, fueled with the awesome might of Thunder, towards the purple and dirt monster. 1D20=18 As it leaves her hands blue streaks of lightening erupts from Steve!'s fingers, striking the hammer and shooting it forward with a vibrant blue glow! 1D20=15 The towering mass is struck with the full force of Thunder and Lightening!!_tm (Take that, yo!) The abomination explodes with the violent force of the combined storm furies sending pieces of glowing earth throughout the room There is a great BOOM and flash of light as all remnants of its existence vaporize. Just then Harrish runs into the room still screaming from the blazing fire engulfing his body. The wretched witch dumps the other handful of purple light upon his burning body and he is transformed in a large burning warrior of flame. A giant flaming sword appears in his hand and he leaps toward Steve!.

What will you do?

"WHY WON'T YOU DIE???" screams Steve!, preparing to fire another volley of arrows at the burning form. Gladiola steps to his side, drawing down the bow as she lets loose another fog of Pleasing Mist.

"This may be a time to fight fire with a DIFFERENT kind of fire." she whispers. 1D20=11

Steve!'s arrows burn to a cinder one by one as they enter the burning hulk. As the Pleasing Mist wraps around the warrior, the flames subside...doom doom di da duh doom doom doom doom...what is that...are you hearing that?...in a gadda da vida honey...the giant sits down and crosses his legs before falling backwards. Lying on his back, he starts to make dead body angels and hum.

"Now you will face all of my power fools!" The cloaked woman...decloaks...and rushes toward the adventurers. He fingers grow to become talons over a foot long which she uses to slash away at Gladiola. One hand strikes her leaving four gashes across her side.

What will you do?

"Dude! Seriously not cool!" yells Gladiola, clutching at her gashed side. She allows the saber-nailed witch to complete the rush past her and whirls to follow behind, hammer raised over her head once again. "Let's see if this will work this time..." she grumbles as she swings her mighty hammer before her, crying in full force "Death STOOORM!!!" 1D20=5 (ok, so that power is just broken and I want a new one that doesn't always result in her falling on her mighty face... mutter, mutter... stupid dice roller... punches the wall...) The pain of her wounds causes he to shift her balance to that side throwing off her attack. A whirling barrage of blows...goes right by the she witch not even connecting a little bit. Gladiola finds it hard to stop her momentum and crashes into table.

Steve! sees the horrible old visage rushing past Gladiola, having done initial damage there, and head on toward him. He searches his new powers for anything he hasn't yet used, and finds a small talisman in his pocket that reads simply 'trick shot'. "Here goes nothin'." he says as he hangs the talisman from the top corner of his mystical bow, aims carefully at the crone's disfigured, agonized face and fires... 1D20=12 A single arrow glances off a parlor mirror reflecting upward to cut the chain of the heavy chandelier looming above the hideous beast. It then catches the edge of a clock on the opposite wall, spins, and continues on. It then strikes a flask of brandy perched on a dining table sending its contents spraying on the she witch. The chandelier falls directly on her head where the lit candles on it set the brandy soaked creature ablaze. Screaming and writhing she reaches out towards her dropped cloak. As if hearing her call, it rises and dashes toward her. It wraps itself around her, dousing the flames and completely concealing her. Her cloaked form lies kneeling on the floor.

What will you do?

"Enough of this." Steve! stands over the cloaked witch, smoke still rising from her body. "This battle could go on forever, and we don't even know who we are battling or why. I think it is time we had a chat with he who started us on this new, epic path." Steve! raises his hands above his head and cries to the heavens "Behold Wizard -- we require you!" 1D20=2

Sensing that her companion's new power may not be enough to call forth the wizard, Gladiola also raises her hands to the skies and repeats the call skyward. "Behold Wizard -- we require you!" 1D20=11. Finally the two combine their forces and call together: "Return to us, Oh Wizard!!!" 1D20=17

"WWWWWizard!" An incredible laser light show and explosions appear. Bursting through the smoke comes...The Wizard! Hearing the famous cry of The Wizard the cloaked she-witch rises.
"No...not The Wizard! Forgive me O great one! I did not know these were your disciples!"
"And I didn't know that you were such a huge crapweasel!
"Your the crapweasel."
"What did you say?"
"Nothing...you cannot have them they must die!"
She leaps towards The Wizard, her claws spread. The Wizard spins and strikes her strongly with his staff. "Most Excellent Strike!" Shockwaves ripple through her body and she is sent flying through the room. She quickly rebounds and sends a bolt of energy towards The Wizard. He dodges the blast and leaps high into the air. Coming down on top of the she witch, he extends his staff. "Atomic Wedgie!" The staff grabs hold of her underpants and with a flick of his wrist, pulls them up into the heavens.
"AAAAhhhhoooooHHHH!!!"
The Wizard extends his palm to connect with the she witches forehead. "Most Excellent Mind Melt!" Her body goes limp and falls to the floor. Gelatinous ooze pours from her ear canal. The Wizard stands astride her lifeless corpse. One of the especially pleased zombies sitting in the corner pondering a flower can be heard to remark "Excellent!"
What will you do?

Steve! and Gladiola stand, beholding the impressive display of carnage at their feet. Given what this Wizard can do, it seems clear challenging him would be suicide and confusing to ask what need he would have of the two of them. They exchange glances of trepidation, and Steve! speaks. "Uuummm... now what?" to which Gladiola "Boss."

"You have shown promise, and have adapted to your new skills quickly. But you still have much to learn before you can fulfill your destiny." The Wizard spins his staff in a circle around the repulsive she witch's corpse and it disappears into dust. Where it once lay, there remains only a silver key on a thin chain. "There are many obstacles still in your path and your journey shall be filled with danger." Waving his hand across the room, the very pleased zombies turn to dust and are blown away by a forceful wind. "If you remember to always be cool and excellent, all shall go as it was foretold to be. Behold!" He motions towards the large windows on the opposite wall. As Gladiola and Steve! look for the nature of the omen...they see nothing. Absolutely nothing. No burning bush. No solar eclipse. Nada. They turn around confused and The Wizard is gone. No trace of his presence remains.

CONTINUED NEXT WEEK IN CHAPTER THREE!