Chapter One - The Epic Begins.

Steve! and Gladiola reach around on the floor and walls of this very dark room for a torch, lighter, one of those wind-up (and not yet invented) flashlights. Steve! finds a sunrune on the ground. Rubbing it between his fingers it starts to glow. Dimly at first, but then enough to see around them. There are in a large room. Broken glassware and what looks like sleeping bodies lie throughout the hall. The light from the sunrune hits a large blue orb sitting on a pedestal in the middle of the room and a faint glow comes from within it. What do you do?

Steve! and Gladiola both stand. Using the sunrune for light they creep silently towards the large blue orb and, once arriving at its side, they examine it closely. Maybe they even touch it, except that I don't want them to blow up or get a terrible fungus or something, so if they would die from touching it they don't touch it. But if they can touch it they totally do.

Suddenly from out of nowhere, a strange wizard appears. "Stop! Don't not touch the mystical orb!" He pulls his cloak over the blue orb and the glowing ceases. "Do you think you are ready to embrace the power that lies within the orb?" Well...do you?

"Wizard, we ARE ready to embrace the orb's power. Bestow it upon us now!" Bellows Steve!, laying his hand on his hip so as to look as impressive as possible, being unarmed as they both are.

"So be it foolish travelers! Turn the dial and place your hand upon the orb." Below the orb is a small dial, and around it are four different icons which you recognize as warrior, cleric, ranger, and sorcerer. Check out the cool first level powers sheet available to the left of this page. What will you do?

Gladiola approaches the orb, turning the dial below the blue glow to rest on "warrior". She then places both of her hands upon the orb, surprised to find it ice cold to the touch.

"Aaahh! The brave warrior, interesting choice. You will often find the that there is a difference between the right choice and the most excellent choice." The wizard turns the dial half way between the warrior and cleric icons and holds Gladiola's hands to the orb. There is a flash of light and odd muffled sound of a wet sandwich hitting a chalkboard. Gladiola is transformed into a holy warrior cleric possessing all the powers of both. "Your turn Steve!" The wizard turns the knob 180 degrees and hold both of Steve!'s hands to the orb. After about 30 seconds of nothing happening, the wizard kicks the pedestal. After about another 30 seconds he turns the dial all the way around and kicks the pedestal again. Steve! is bathed in a warm, bright light and transformed into an arcane ranger sorcerer possessing all the powers of both. After a few incoherent incantations from the wizard, a large hammer, shield and armor appear before Gladiola. At Steve!'s feet appear a cloak, unstrung bow, and amulet. "Remember foolish travelers, always do what is cool and excellent, and cool and excellent things will be done unto you." The form of the wizard turns into dust and is gone. Just then the blue orb releases a blinding flash of light and Gladiola and Steve! are sent reeling into a flashback...

You were both invited to a big party at the "Fortress of Ultimate Sorrow"tm by Lord Malgamamarsh. Once there, you discovered that your host was not so gracious after all. You overheard one of his servants talking about the ones from the prophecy and pointing at you. Soon after there was a mighty bloodbath of carnage and mayhem leaving everyone in the grand hall dead. Or so they thought.

Slipping back into the present, Gladiola and Steve! hear pounding on a large door and gruff voices. What will you do?

Gladiola, now fueled with the battle passion of a fighter and the divine light of a cleric, points to the wall opposite from the door. "Steve!," she commands, "you take a safe distance and see if you can string the bow, not to mention find any kind of arrows around here. there is no time to put on my new, shiny (SHINY) armor, but I will answer the door and hope that if I find enemies I will have the might and the mastery to crush them into a fine, speckledy powder!"

Steve! collects his ranger wizard gear and jogs to the far wall, finding himself mystically trained in the art of well stringing his new bow. There is no bow string. Steve!'s excellent wizard knowledge tells him that this is Magical Bow of Mysticalness which needs no string or arrows. Simply grab where the string should be and a knocked arrow will appear. Oooh, Shiny! Thanks M.E.A.T Master! Meanwhile, Gladiola plasters her back to the wall beside the door. Once she is sure that Steve! is a safe distance away she places a single hand flat on the door and, in her boldest voice, calls through the thick wood. "Whooisit??" she barks.

"Open the door!" the gruff voice calls back banging even harder this time. In the background you can hear what sounds like the voice of an old woman, soft and frail.
"I ...ought they were suppo... be..ll..dead. ...hat ..reachery is th..."
"They were, I swear it."
Before you can act, the door blasts open with a mighty whoosh! Gladiola is blown backwards. Tumbling on the ground, the new found armor seems to attach itself as she rolls over the pieces one by one. In the now open doorway stands two large human guards. They are wearing leather armor with a large M burned into the chest piece. You can barely make out a cloaked figure behind them.
What will you do?

Gladiola lies on the floor, staring up at the guards. She keeps her eyes locked on them while simultaneously feeling frantically around her on the floor for her hammer. As the first begins to move forward an arrow flies over her, headed straight for the M on the guard's chest. She peers behind her to see Steve! loading another arrow to his bow, and Gladiola uses his attack as the distraction to allow her to reach across the floor, grab her hammer and scramble to her feet. She whirls to face her opponents as Steve! steps forward, bow at the ready, preparing to fire a second arrow.

"Who are you?" demands Gladiola, hammer positioned to strike, "and what do you want with me, and with Steve!?"

"We want you..." the cloaked figure speaks up, "to DIE!!!"

The guards come rushing into the room pulling swords from their backs.

Combat Begins! Attack results are determined by the roll of a 20-sided die (1D20=) Turn order: Gladiola, Steve!, Guards. What will you do?

As the guards rush forth Gladiola swings her hammer over her right shoulder like a baseball bat, crashing it forward and into the big, barrel, M-marked chest of the first guard with all of her might. 1D20=8 At the same moment, Steve! back-peddles toward the back wall while knocking another of his super-cool mystic arrows to his super-cool mystic bow. He lets loose the implied string, aiming the projectile at the face of the second guard rushing by his partner. 1D20=6 - yeowch! Gladiola's greenness as a warrior cleric shows as the guard dips under the blow. It crashes against his shoulder doing some damage, but not enough to stop him. Steve! is wary of the magical bow and is still new to it's ways. The mystic arrow misses the target and breaks a lovely vase holding a large bouquet. The guard does not seem pleased.

The guards engage the warriors. You can see up close that their name tags read Glen and Harrish. Glen swings his sword at Gladiola, but she feels her body moving with the new imbued instinct of a fine warrior cleric, and dodges the attack. Harrish is on the other side of the room and begins to charge at Steve!

What will you do?

Gladiola, angered by feeling so strong with the powers yet not able to use them expertly, whirls around Glen and his flying sword. "I will find the way to CRUSH you, Glen!" she growls, tapping into these new powers to find one that will allow her to make good on her threat. She takes her hammer once again in both hands, funnels her angry energy from deep in her dragony core and swings it in a circle around her body once before letting it loose with the fire of THUNDER HAMMER! 1D20=5 (seriously? more like pussy hammer! sigh.) Gladiola feels the words coming out of her mouth, but they are with an awkward faltering. Like a 15 year old band geek being given a night with a swimsuit model. Her hammer begins to quake and rumble...and then...nothing. It falls lifeless to the floor with a resounding thud. All powers will hit on better than a five, but not a five or lower, I mean...come on.

Steve!, a much more introspective and thoughtful soul, steps back quickly to evade Harrish's attack. Realizing that this bow will take at least a little time to become comfortable, he also taps into his core of new-found powers, grabbing hold of a spark he finds there and rolling it forward until it appears as a fiery ball floating in his hand. Seconds before Harrish's attack is to contact Steve! hurls the FIREBALL in his direction with gusto! 1D20 (+100 for typing w/ fingers crossed)=11 (better, but still fmeh) The fireball strikes the ground underneath Harrish and bursts into a roaring blaze. Harrish is instantly consumed in it and set alight. His burning body begins to scream and wail as he runs out the door and down the hall.

Glen seeing his friend set ablaze, turns for the door and begins to run...but then he turns around and attacks Gladiola again. This time his sword strikes her shield firmly and makes a pleasant clang sound.

What will you do?

"Clang me, will you???" demands Gladiola with the tone of a famous warrior, despite her futile attacks thus far. "I will SHOW you CLANG, impudent whelp!!" Reaching again into her internal bag of tricks (dirty!) she also touches on a spark of promise and, rather than reaching down to retrieve her hammer she allows the heat to build behind her eyes. Moments later the flames erupt from her eyes as she calls forth, as if from nowhere, a cleric's curse of the infidel. "Let the purity and light of my new lord Clarabell clean you from the face of this good earth!!!" 1D20=17 (now that's what I"m talkin' bout!) Glen drops his sword and starts to scratch at his skin. His face winces in pain as his body contorts. Then small tears in his flesh become visible and flames begin to erupt forth. Glowing hands appear from nowhere and rip Glen apart. Nothing remains but small pieces, still hot with holy fire.

"You didn't really think it would be that easy did you?" the cloaked figure speaks. "DESTROY THEM!!" Ten more guards rush into the room, the hunger for destruction in their eyes. In the distance you can still hear the cries of Harrish. "When will this burning stop! Aaaaaahhh!"

What will you do?

In a single, swift movement belying her inexperience in battle Gladiola drops to the floor, grabbing up her hammer and rolling back to her feet. The shocking success of her attack on Glen has invigorated her and she lunges forward into the charging guards, roaring and flailing her hammer left and right into them, channeling her Death Storm power as she goes! 1D20=15 You have to actually say "Death Storm" to use the power. I don't know why, these are just the rules. Gladiola's hammer begins to blur as she swings it back and forth, dealing out righteous punishment as she goes. Cracked bones and shattered skulls fall in a wake behind her.

As his chum disappears into the crowd of enemies Steve worries that she's in over her head and searches his new-found abilities for how best to lend her appropriate aid. As if by magic the words "Hail of Arrows" fills his head, and as he readies his mystical bow and never-ending arrows, aiming for the crowd, he calls to Gladiola "Rain's a-comin', Gladiola -- better get your umbrella!!" Like a well-practiced tactic she instinctively raises her shield over her head, continuing to storm at the group's bodies under it's protection. 1D20=7 (dang) Steve fires two arrows from the bow, never having to stop to reload, and sends them arcing over the crowd. Both of them split into many before turning to rain down upon the helpless foes. Many are skewered by the shower of piercing death as Gladiola's shield protects her from the storm. When the last one hits the floor she looks up to see no movement but her own.

CONTINUED NEXT WEEK IN CHAPTER TWO!